Posted: July 19th, 2022
Respond to Olivia and Katie post work to expand the discussion by contributing unique, relevant content (personal/professional experiences or examples) or by expanding and adding depth to the thoughts and ideas shared by your peers (presenting different strategies in the book, or new ideas and thoughts, or similar personal/professional experiences to connect with).
The ability to view ourselves from an unbiased perspective allows us to critically assess our personal strengths and weaknesses. This is an important step in the process of finding the right resources for our personal learning style. Ego and pride can be a hard thing to overcome, but I have found that reaching out for help provides endless benefits. I have found myself hesitant to ask for help in a professional setting. Because I am much younger than many of my coworkers, I feel a constant need to prove my worth. I feel as though my asking for help can be interpreted as an inability to perform my job duties effectively. I have since found out that this is not the case and in return, I am better equipped to do my job. If we are able to overcome the fear of putting our pride aside and asking for help, we will reap many benefits on the path to success. Overall, the ability to focus on the right things allows us to be better prepared to take advantage of critical opportunities.
After reviewing the multitude of online amenities provided at SNHU I feel better prepared to continue my work as a student. I plan on utilizing the Smarthinking 24-hour tutoring service as well as the drop off paper review. I think this is an amazing resource to have available that encourages students to ask for help when it is needed. The ability to get help from our peers is a tool I believe to be instrumental to success. It is reassuring to know that I have multiple resources at my disposal during this time in which I continue to further my education.
I think being able to use resources to help you succeed is a great characteristic to have. Sometimes in the past I have been too stubborn in my ways to be able to ask for help or use resources to help me and have not done as well as I had intended.
I think knowing more about you will allow you to be able to choose the right resources, because knowing the most about yourself allows you to know which resources you will benefit the most from. I have always struggled in math; it has never been my strong suit. When I first attempted to go to college right after I graduated from high school, I really struggled with the math course I was assigned. My school provided us with a resource called Math Lab. It was mandatory to complete one hour a week there. However, when I knew I needed more time and more assistance with what I was learning I decided not to reach out for help. Looking back, I am not sure why I refused to use more resources. I think I would have been more successful at my first attempt at college if I put my pride to the side and used the resources that were so easily accessible to me.
I believe that all the amenities offered here at SNHU will be great resources for me to be successful at getting my degree. The ones that I think I will benefit the most from are the Drop-in Tutoring and the Drop off paper review. I believe that with these resources I will be able to learn the material that I struggle with throughout my academic career and having someone else review your paper before submitting it is a huge asset.
Please be sure to ask questions and comment on Anna, Rachel, Shannon, and Lindsey responses, and respond to their questions and comments regarding your own response.
The character I chose to focus on is Jessica Day from the show “New Girl”. This is a favorite comedy of mine, and the specific episode/scenario is humorous as well, but highlights quite a lot of family disfunction. The clip explaining the situation is here
Essentially an adult Jess tries to set up her divorced parents much like the attempts she made as a child. Jess clearly has not come to terms with the fact that her parents will never get back together and to her that translates to them not being a family. I would strongly encourage that Jess has both individual therapy and family therapy together to work on the issues that they have. Not only does Jess not accept that her parents will not be a married couple, but plans family events that ensure her parents don’t cross paths. This accommodation leads me to believe that it was an emotional divorce and as a result neither Jess’s mother nor father can be around the other without an implosion.
I think the family structure interests me most. Jess’s parents don’t try to be functional as either a married nor a divorced couple even as they see the pain and turmoil it obviously causes their daughter. The years go by and her unacceptance continues into her thirties, it is intriguing to see that despite Jess’s issues with her parents she still believes in love and committed relationships, including her own as the show progresses this is shown.
I would proceed with a systematic approach with the family, dig into why they each have deep seeded issues within their structure. I would primarily discuss the effects that their inability to be in the same room has on their daughter. I would convince them to come in for this specific issue, how can they function at family events, their daughter’s wedding or their grandchild’s birth, if they can’t be civil?
It seems that Jess had a good childhood and is a well-rounded individual with goals and well-educated. The family seems to be an eclectic mix the bubbly mother, happy but realistic daughter and the grumpy father. Perhaps, this is why the couple could not work well together but still produced a relatively healthy daughter.
My family is quite similar. I come from a divorced home and my father and mother have not been in the same building for almost a decade. My father is a reasonable man, a little stubborn, but my mother suffers from narcissistic personality disorder so my childhood was emotionally chaotic, unlike Jess’s. I believe that my situation would assist me in helping this family given my experiences.
1 From the Belcher family in Bob’s Burgers, Linda, the mother, would benefit from involving her family in therapy. They are a close family involving the father and husband Bob, the mother and wife Linda, the oldest daughter Tina, the middle son Gene, and the youngest daughter Louise. Along with the nuclear family they are also very close with Linda’s sister Gale. Within the family system Linda is a very family-oriented person and is always wanting to do things as a family and keep the close relationships and bonds she has with each of them.
2 The major theme of the entire show is the family restaurant called Bob’s Burgers. There is financial stress on them all the time as well as raising three very different children. Along with the financial stress Bob has a rivalry with the restaurant owner across the street, Jimmy Pesto. These three themes are central to Linda’s sense of self and how they all effect the family.
3 The first thing I would do in the family’s first session is develop a genogram of the family to get an idea of all the individuals who play a major role in Linda’s life. After establishing where each member is in relation to the family, I would begin with why Linda decided to come to therapy in the first place. In this scenario Linda came to therapy from the mounting stress of not being able to provide what she thinks her children need and deserve due to financial stress and with the state of the restaurant, financially. I would first ask Bob about his feelings towards the success of his restaurant and if he feels the business is adequately providing for his family. I would then ask the three children the same question. Getting the children’s opinion on this ‘adult’ problem will give me an idea of how aware they are of their parent’s financial situation. I would also ask Gale, Linda’s sister, how she felt about the restaurant and her sister’s success with the business. I would like to follow up with asking the children if they feel as if they can’t ask their parents for anything because of their financial situation.
4 In order to get the entire family to come back for another session I would suggest coming in on a day the restaurant is not open, so they do not feel the pressure of closing for the day and losing out on business. Due to the family dynamic, I feel as if the family would be more than willing to come again to help Linda feel better. Since the family finances were a large part of the session, I think that establishing a time where there is no pressure to come in would be best for them. Without that pressure they would be more willing and open to talking and working on what needs to be done to help Linda and the family.
5 The family dynamic is awkward at first since the most outgoing and straight forward person in the family in Linda, and she is the one the family is here for. It is obvious that the family cares a lot about her and each other. The children each explain to their mom that they have an idea about the financial state they are in but that they never feel as if they must miss out on anything and they never feel bad asking for something they need. Her sister Gale would see that the stress is really getting to Linda and she would admit that she asks for money for little projects and whatnot too much and that she won’t do that anymore and even work on paying her back. Bob would have probably been unaware of the burden Linda was carrying from the financial stress and being in the session would have brought that to his attention, he would be very supportive and try not to seem so bleak about their situation and not talk so pessimistic about their finances.
6 I would see some aspects of me and my family in them because even though they are dysfunctional they all clearly love each other and that is very evident to everyone in the family. Seeing that similarity, I think it would help me navigate tricky situation because I already understand that the love is there and that no matter what they will always be a family and love and support each other. This would make me more comfortable bringing things up that I may otherwise be wary of in with other families with more tension between the family members.
I would start off with Linda on repeating her options for the child and going over what she is feeling with each option. I would want to find out what she is afraid of. I would avoid asking her any “why” questions because I want her to be in the here and now. I want to know what she is feeling right now and what she is experiencing within herself right now. I would also work with Linda about finding her self-awareness. “The Gestalt approach helps clients note their own awareness process so that they can be responsible and can selectively and discriminatingly make choices” (Corey, 2017). I would pay attention to Linda’s body movements and if she tenses a certain area ask her what is that area feeling. If that area could talk, what would it be saying right now. I would then put Linda into some role playing. I would have her hold a discussion with her parents and then answer what she thinks her parents would really say to her. I would get Linda to see that she can have a conversation with them without being so scared and nervous.
After settling what she will do with the baby, I would have her role play with a dialog experiment with her boyfriend. Let her say what she would like to say to him right now and what she thinks he would say back to her. This should give her the strength to have the conversation with him about what is going to happen with the baby.
The empty-chair technique used in the Gestalt Therapy video in the module four resources would be a good technique to work through Linda’s awareness of her feelings of anger and hurt as well as her feelings about talking to her parents about her pregnancy and her feelings of guilt. This reversal technique was used on Sandra, in the video which allowed her to role-play as herself, but then switch over to the role of the other party (whom she had anger towards), by physically moving into the other chair (Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors, 2011). According to Corey (2018), the empty chair technique allows the fantasies of what the other party might be thinking to be brought into consciousness. This would be beneficial for Linda in working through scenarios that she might present her boyfriend with, and how she will discuss this pregnancy and her feelings around inadequacy with her parents (SNHU, 2021). The empty chair technique will also help Linda to assess different possible responses from the different people and how they might respond. The future projection technique would be helpful for Linda in seeing how each choice and its subsequent outcome might look like in the future. This helps clients to clarify their hopeful outcome which enables them to take steps to achieve that outcome (Corey, 2018).
Body language provides information to the therapist in the form of nonverbal cues as to how a person is feeling (even if they are not consciously aware). Some examples of how Linda’s body language might contradict her words is that she might say that she is angry while smiling or say she feels sad while laughing.
Be constructive and profession with Brian and Natalie post
I have to points of reference for where my family’s path began. On my father side, we immigrated from Switzerland and my mothers side of the family are Native American. How my great great grandfather on my fathers side became American was enlisting in WW1 after arriving by ship. My mothers side of the family were living on reservations. I still have my cousins family living on a reservation in Arizona.
It is hard for to explain how current immigrants assimilate to American culture because I was born in The United States. I do have some very close friends from Mexico City, Mexico. I see how they juggle their heritage and the so called America culture. My friends treat everyone with respect, studied the English language in order to communicate better in America, work hard for and understand the American dollar, and purchase clothing and other materialistic items that most Americans use. My friends have little knowledge of American history but that is because they did not start school at a young age in America.
The word assimilate is negative to me. I believe everyone should learn about a country that they are going to live in. It doesn’t mean that they have to believe that everything in America is better than where they came from. It means that they care enough about learning the history of the people that they will be either working with, making friends with and having romantic relationships with. The past and the future of America will always have people from different cultures. For example, people born in California speak and act differently then people in North Carolina. Doesn’t mean you have to be from a different country to be an immigrant. We all have to learn how other people are in different parts of America and other countries.
My mother’s dad was born in Italy and came over as an immigrant. Both of my father’s parents, as well as a few of his brother and sisters were born in Italy and came over as immigrants as well. While my family does not include black people or Native Americans by blood relation, we do have black people, Native Americans and also Asian people in my family through marriage. However, they were all born in America. While I do not have first hand knowledge of the current immigrant experience and how they assimilate into American culture, from what I see on television and in the public divisions of opinion immigrants are often met with hostility and negativity. What I do notice is that younger immigrants tend to choose American names over their traditional birth names. I work with several people who came to America in their early twenties and they have told me that it was just easier to adopt an American name, due to people not being able to pronounce it or just quite plainly trying to fit in. In addition, they have told me that even though older immigrants would choose to keep their birth name they often give their American born children American names as opposed to ethnic names for the same reason. I have an Asian friend from India. He is in his forties now, but he came to America for school in his early twenties. Both of his children were born here and although his wife was born in India as well, he has told me that they only speak English in the house and his children do not speak or understand Hindi. Although both of his children do have Hindi names, he told me that they purposely did not teach them to speak Hindi to ensure that their children would not have an accent. I think it is definitely a personal choice, but I think there should be a balance of effort to assimilate. While I think an effort should be made by the immigrant to assimilate into American culture, there should be a balance so that their native born culture is not lost. I’m sure that it is not easy to assimilate, especially in light of the current issues we see happening. What I find particularly interested is that people who view immigrants in a negative light tend to forget that we are all either Native Americans, immigrants, descendants of immigrants, descendants of slaves, or a combination of these as the discussion question points out.
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