respond

As always in your discussion, respond thoughtfully to this 2 postings.

Kimberly Banks post:

To spank or not to spank? Referring to the “expert” you chose in discussion #2, what is his/her position on spanking? Do you agree/disagree with this, and why?

Dr. Spock was against spanking.  He believed that spankings can result in abuse within the family and accepting violence within society.  He also believed that children would develop a bullying-type mentality where the big kid may feel more in control of the little kid .  He also believed that children won’t be well-behaved because they want to, instead they will be well-behaved by acting out of fear of being in pain from a spanking.  He agreed with parents being stern with discipline by omitting spanking.  His philosophy was based on showing kids how to behave by showing care and love, so the child can feel a sense of belonging so they wouldn’t misbehave at all. 

https://nospank.net/spock2.htm 

Do you agree/disagree and why?

I agree with Dr. Spock’s philosophy on parents making kids feel a sense of belonging through love and care and they will in turn be well-behaved into adulthood.  I also agree with Dr. Spock on being stern with discipline with other alternatives instead of spanking.  When it comes to spanking a child, I believe its how a parent do it.  They should not spank their child out of anger.  It should be done when the child is old enough to understand the rights and wrongs for his/her age.  (older children)  Parents should resort to other alternatives such as talking to child about the behavior or taking away privileges.  Spanking should not be done where it becomes physical abuse.  It should be done as the ultimate last resort where a child knowingly breaks a rule or being disrespectful and he/she knows it. ( not a child who is an infant, in toddler years, or preschool years)

Discuss what you believe to be effective forms of discipline at various stages of development. Support with online research. 

Effective forms discipline would be based on the cognitive development of the child and the child’s age.  Between the ages of birth-7 years old, saying yes and no to various things is most effective.  During those ages a child is exploring and learning the world around them.  Also, this is the “carefree” phase where a child does not know what can harm them and what is good for them.  In order to respond to positive behavior, praising and rewarding when appropriate is best.  In response to negative behavior, talking with child about the behavior is best.  For example, if a child pulls on another child’s hair, the parent can correct that behavior by having the child discuss why the behavior was done, explaining to the child that the behavior is inappropriate, and making sure the child understands its not appropriate for his/her cognitive stage of understanding. 

Ages 8 years-12 years of age is when a child is becoming better at understanding what is expected of them.  When disciplining a child in this age group, taking away privileges from them is most effective.  This stage is when children’s likes and dislikes are well known to the parent.  If the child misbehaves, those privileges will be the common factor of learning about consequences for their actions.

The ages of 13 years old-18 years old is when the parent should continue the form of discipline where privileges are taken away when the child misbehaves.  At this stage, children should be well aware of what is expected of them.  Also, this is the stage where children will develop to have more likes, dislikes, and preferences.  Children would still need to have open conversations of why the behavior happened.  Parents will still need to reinforce what’s appropriate and inappropriate as well as the consequences of those actions 

Address the issue of cultural differences in parenting, and support  with online research.

I believe one way of looking at different parenting styles in different cultures have to do with perceptions of how the child will turn out if they don’t discipline a child in a certain way.  For instance, most Americans generally believe that physical punishment is a form of abuse and will lead to problems in adulthood.  In Asian countries, physical punishment means they hit the child out of love.  They believe if they don’t discipline the child physically, the child would grow-up to be generally bad people.  Asians who live in America believe that American children are disrespectful due to a lack of physical punishment.  Asian’s parenting is centered around family which means whatever the child do or don’t do is a reflection of the family.  The child is to honor the family in any way the parents seems appropriate for the child to honor its family.  Americans generally teach children about individuality and to do what’s best for them no matter who likes it or not.   I believe some cultures parenting is based off perceptions of societal norms.

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/29/nyregion/cultural-divide-over-parental-discipline.html 

Tamika Gibson post:

1). To spank or not to spank? I agreed with all three of my experts. However, I would have to go with Dr. Williams Sears as we relate on so many levels. Sears believes  when it comes to spanking, our position is simple, absolutely not. There are better ways to discipline your child that do not involve spanking or hitting. Physical harm as punishment can cause emotional issues down the road. Our children are constantly learning from our actions. If we resolve issues by spanking or hitting we are only perpetuating the behavior. I would have to agree. I have given my children spanking when they were young but; I would say not many. When I would spank my children it really solved nothing but, created that sense of fear to the point when they done something wrong they were afraid to tell me. This caused a wedge in our communication so I decided to do things different to keep that line of communication with my children open.

2). Discuss your personal philosophy and post an article/website which supports your personal viewpoint. As I stated before that I believe spanking children adds fear and this may affect the child in a negative way. Parents who hit their kids may believe that a swat “just gets their attention” or imposes old-fashioned discipline, but spanking in fact makes behavior worse than it was before and can cause long-term harm (Cummins, 2014). Children who experience repeated use of corporal punishment tend to develop more aggressive behaviors, increased aggression in school, and an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognitive problems.

3). Discuss what you believe to be effective forms of discipline at various stages of development. Discipline is the structure that helps the child fit into the real world happily and effectively. It is the foundation for the development of the child’s own self-discipline( O’Donnell, 2018). Effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not just forcing them to obey. As with all other interventions aimed at pointing out unacceptable behavior, the child should always know that the parent loves and supports him or her. Trust between parent and child should be maintained and constantly built upon. Regardless of the developmental stage and age of the child, one basic principle is the purpose of effective discipline is to help children organize themselves, internalize rules and acquire appropriate behavior patterns.

4). Address the issue of cultural differences in parenting, and support  with online research. Every culture is characterized, and distinguished from other cultures, by deep-rooted and widely acknowledged ideas about how one needs to feel, think, and act as a functioning member of the culture. Discipline beliefs and developmental expectations as features of the social content in which children participate and thus experience directly. Parenting goals are objectives that adults have in mind when raising a child, such as independent or obedient behavior. Discipline beliefs are attitudes held by parents and carers about the appropriateness of particular approaches to discipline, such as teaching, removing and spanking (Christensen,ND). End result Parents from around the world have universal feelings of love, affection and hope for their children, but cultural values and expectations can color how these emotions are communicated.

Reference

 Cummins. D (2014) This Is What Happens When You Hit Your Kids Retrieved June 13, 2019 from www.psychologytoday.com

O’Donnell. L (2018) Disciplining Your Child Retrieved June 13, 2019 from www.kidshealth.org

Christensen. J (ND) Role of Culture in the Influencing of Parenting Styles Retrieved June 13, 2019 from www.livestrong.com